There are some scenes that do feel right—quieter, looser scenes like Rowlands’s homecoming (at least in its first few minutes), and the film’s last few minutes, which aren’t all so quiet, but yet stand out as beautifully composed realism, even in terms of Rowlands and Falk’s acting. It’s as if they’ve used up their juice and were so exhausted from acting crazy that they called it quits; the movie’s over and they can be real people again, and we can sense their feeling of release. (The only real false note is in the chiruppy cooing of their forgiving children.) There’s at least one sustainedly good performance: Cassavetes’s Greek mother Katherine is wonderful as Falk’s Italian mother Margaret (although how many first- or second-generation Italian women are named Margaret?). She speaks like a variation of Ruth Gordon’s batty oldster in Rosemary’s Baby, but you can sense the stability in her nippiness that Rowlands’s nuttiness lacks.
The movie earns brownie points from me for its intentions, for which it’s probably also earned its reputation as a verité masterpiece. But good intentions and healthy experimentation can sometimes result in bad ideas and blah moviemaking. I doubt the actors were intending to play the farce that they do. But, when making movies with such serious intentions, actors’ instincts can veer toward the grandiose; and if the director thinks he’s just an observer capturing real life unfold, and doesn’t tell the cast to tone down when it should, then he’s letting stage-trained thespians turn his ultra-realism into a theater of the absurd.